My first priority post-divorce was immersing myself in the care of people that loved me while doing things that I enjoyed. One of those things was singing on the worship team at church. Singing in an ensemble or choir had been a part of my life for over 20 years. Being a part of a…
Category: Spiritual Abuse
What’s so good about Good Friday?
This weekend feels complicated for me. I’m thinking about the crucifixion of Jesus, and I’m wondering why we would celebrate the state murdering an innocent person. I’m wondering why we would laud a father who chose not to use his power to stop it and call him loving. I’m wondering why an all-powerful God would…
Marriage Autopsy – Part Five
As I solidified my plan to divorce, I started talking more to my family and friends about what was going on. I also alerted my pastor, who pledged to support me however I needed. X and I had a joint financial plan to pay off debt and we were about five months from paying off…
Marriage Autopsy – Part Four
The roller coaster of my marriage was exhausting. The external stressors that accompanied the beginning of our marriage were gone, and I didn’t feel like our marriage should be in shambles. So, out of my denial, I pressed in. I pressed to try to have fruitful conversations. I pressed to try to resolve conflict. I…
Marriage Autopsy – Part Three
The grief from the election after an already tough summer with the slayings of Alton Sterling and Philando Castille within days of each other, along with the murder of countless others at the hands of police, was overwhelming. Donald Trump’s election signaled that millions of folks endorsed his blatant racism, xenophobia, misogyny and all-around bigotry….
Marriage Autopsy – Part Two
I was certainly disappointed to fail, but the bar exam is a notoriously tough exam that often requires multiple attempts for success. Still, I texted my family and friends, including X, to avoid verbalizing the news multiple times. A few short hours after I received the results, the family I was living with was hosting…
Marriage Autopsy – Part One
The random Facebook message from a former classmate, who I’ll call X, sounded innocent enough.